As I venture into sharing my first Somatic Breathwork experience, I’m taking a slight departure from my usual fitness and nutrition content. While those topics have been the foundation of this blog, I believe emotional and spiritual wellness are equally vital components of our overall health and personal growth journey.

Meditation had been my sanctuary of healing and spiritual growth for years, yet something remained locked deep within me. Despite previous successes, I realized I couldn’t access the most vulnerable parts of myself. Emotions were foreign territory—I had long associated vulnerability with weakness, systematically blocking and burying feelings from the moment they surfaced.

My childhood was a landscape of unspoken trauma. Unconditional love felt like a distant concept, safety an unreachable dream. I existed on the periphery, believing I was unwanted and fundamentally unworthy. Even among friends, I felt perpetually isolated, a burden simply by existing. My coping mechanisms were simple: drawing, reading, and working—activities that required minimal emotional engagement.

As I transitioned into adulthood, my relationship patterns mirrored my childhood wounds. I loved extravagantly but unwisely, giving myself completely to those who didn’t deserve my devotion. The quote “We accept the love we think we deserve” became a profound revelation. I understood I needed to establish boundaries and, more critically, learn self-love—recognizing that until I truly valued myself, no one else would.

My healing journey led me to somatic breathwork. After reading about how trauma manifests physically and can be processed through body-centered practices, I was intrigued. Though I initially postponed exploring this method due to business commitments, when the opportunity presented itself through Sean’s session, I knew it was more than coincidence—it was the universe calling.

Preparation was intentional. I fasted, prayed, and meditated, dedicating myself wholly to this experience. My intentions were clear: seek clarity, find peace, and reconnect with emotions I had suppressed for decades.

During the session, something extraordinary happened. In a visualization, a four-year-old version of myself appeared. She was not fragile but remarkably resilient. When I approached her with protection and love, she looked at me and said, “I’m fine. I’m here for YOU.” In that moment, decades of emotional barriers crumbled.

Overwhelming sensations washed over me—coldness, detachment, intense vulnerability. Tears flowed freely as I confronted long-buried resentment and anger. The little girl within me whispered, “I’ve been here all along. I am you. It’s time to heal and let go.”

As the session concluded, a profound transformation occurred. My body temperature shifted dramatically—from ice-cold to a warmth that originated in my heart and radiated throughout my entire being. I experienced a peace so pure and complete that it felt almost unfamiliar.

Exhausted but transformed, I surrendered to a deep, healing sleep. My body, long trapped in a perpetual state of fight-or-flight, finally found permission to rest.

This is not an endpoint, but a beginning. My healing journey has just begun, and I am committed to becoming the most authentic version of myself—compassionate, whole, and truly alive.

Update: Despite knowing Sean for years, we had never delved into personal conversations until our recent session. At the start, he felt compelled to share his journey of inner child healing, a goal that deeply resonated with me. Like Sean, I’ve been working to address my unresolved trauma, experiencing some progress but sensing deeper healing was necessary.

For days, I’ve struggled to articulate the profound experience we shared, which felt nothing short of a divine intervention. Sean demonstrated an extraordinary sensitivity, intuitively channeling exactly what needed to be said in each moment. Though I remained silent during the session, it felt as if he could somehow perceive the visions unfolding in my mind, offering precisely the words I needed to release and let go.

In our post-session reflection, a significant revelation emerged. During my vision, I knew the little girl was four years old, but its significance wasn’t immediately clear. Sean highlighted an unusual aspect of our experience: typically, an adult comforts the child, but in my case, the four-year-old version of myself was remarkably strong and resilient. She didn’t cry. Instead, she comforted me, assuring me that I was never alone.

This realization struck me profoundly. The trauma I consciously remember began around age five, which made me understand that my healing journey has only just begun. A haunting question emerged: How can I show up for my inner child when I struggle to show up for myself? I believe God revealed my four-year-old self because, for years, I’ve felt I had abandoned myself.